On Dissociation: Part Two
to bring everyone together. I admire what my people took for me so much. If they hadn't been there, I would never have survived, I would be a blithering idiot or psychotic. I have told them thank you many many times. It's hard, though, when parts who were so invested in the cult, in working for them and thought they had moved up the ladder, got pissed at me for leaving. Or when untrusting parts try to sabotage therapy, or friendships, because some of them to this day don't trust ANYONE and probably never will. I am co-conscious with most, if not all, of them, though, and they cooperate so I can work and be a Mom. I think some of them are really cool, especially Brogan. He's my favorite, he has an Irish accent and is really smart and helps me out if I need good advice. It's neat to be able to ask myself for advice when I need it, and get an answer!
Not all survivors of ritual abuse dissociate or become DID. In response to the question "If present, how has dissociation affected you" Eric responds: N/A. Although the cracks are there, I never fragmented in a significant way.
Ian, an eleven year old survivor of ritual abuse, shares a younger perspective: My protectors are cool. When I was in California, Jason, one of my inside people who was taught to fight by the cult, could beat ANYONE in a fight. I got into lots of fights at school, because if someone teased me or upset me, Jason would come out. Now, I don't fight as much, I get along with people better. I'm the one who goes to school and does stuff, and he doesn't have to step in for me. But I worry that I'm getting weaker, that I can't fight as good since he doesn't come out as much. I also have someone inside, Mei, who can do karate. It is awesome when he comes out, because I never learned it, but he sure does. He won't let anyone ever beat me up.
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