One of the most lingering effects of ritual abuse in a survivor's life is the reality of dissociation. Dissociation can take many forms, and describes a complex continuum of methods to cope psychologically with intense pain. Ritual abuse is some of the most horrendous psychological pain and trauma that a human being can face and survive. Often coping with its effects manifests in the form of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and DID (dissociative identity disorder, formerly called MPD).
DID has caused some controversy in the media: is it real, does it exist? The DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition, published by the American Psychiatric Association) certainly recognizes it as a reality, and defines it as:
The presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states (each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self). At least two of these identities or personality states recurrently take control of the person's behavior. Inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness. The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., blackouts or chaotic behavior during Alcohol Intoxication) or a general medical condition (e.g., complex partial seizures). Note: In children, the symptoms are not attributable to imaginary playmates or other fantasy play. Dissociative Identity Disorder is also referred to as Multiple Personality Disorder. *Note: I find it extremely interesting that supposed "syndromes" such as "false memory" are not listed in the largest book for diagnosing psychological disorders in the world; perhaps because there is absolutely NO objective evidence for the reality of this supposed syndrome?
But what is it like to live with the lasting effects of trauma? In my survey, I asked survivors to share what the reality is like for them, as they deal with DID in their life. I believe that their insights and experiences as well as courage in coping with the effects of ritual abuse in day to day life speaks far more than any scholarly definitions.
Ellen, a survivor of cult abuse, is not DID but describes the symptoms of PTSD that she experienced when first getting out of a cult group: When I was initially out of the cult I would feel waves of terror going through my body. There was nothing that I could do to relieve this. I just had to wait it out. These terror waves would come often during the times that the cult was "praying". I slept very little the first year that I was out and still have trouble getting quality sleep. That first year I would
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