THOSE WHO LIVE IN THE FAST LANE SMELL TOO MANY SKUNKS
My third attempt to design something independent of petroleum products involved a hydrogen-powered prototype vehicle. The theory was simple. Hydrogen in my tank combined with oxygen from the air to created smog-free transportation that smelled sweet as water. My only problem was that I needed two-inch thick armor to house my vehicle for liability purposes. I didn't want to be responsible for blowing up half the city should someone ram me and rupture my fuel tank. It seems as though hydrogen and oxygen don't get along very well and oxygen has become a vital part of human survival. When the two gasses mix without proper shielding they can create major explosions. To make matters worse, I had to replace my fuel tank every ten years before hydrogen embrittlement set in.
My final solution was to depend on Shank's ponies otherwise known as wearing down shoe leather or walking. This solution worked great. It was cheaper than driving, better cardiovascular exercise than sleeping and an excellent way to get close to the roses. I was also able to count the squirrels, play with the rabbits, and step in goose droppings whenever I choose. There is no better way of saving pennies than giving up driving and using shoe leather. Now, the police wave at me instead of pulling me over for driving too slow. As for unacceptable odors, I can escape the skunk smells by changing direction at the first whiff of stench.
I walk whenever I can instead of taking a taxi and avoid the exorbitant price of raw gasoline. Gasoline's expensive. Shoe leather isn't. Besides, when I walk, I have plenty of time to smell all the roses. I never did learn to inhale the aroma of flowers while hitting the highway at eighty or ninety. At those speeds, the most identifiable odors come from road-kill and skunks.
THE END