Practical Skills 6: Family - The First Sector

Last time we drew a circle and began to construct a Wheel of Life with its set of personal goals for the individual resident. I cannot overemphasise the need to get the resident involved, from the outset, in this goal-setting activity.

Your own first goal is to secure involvement in the process - residential work is about teamwork, about working together with people, and the first challenge is to work together to identify a need for change.

It's quite possible that the individual will not recognise or accept any need for change - ranging from "I didn't ask to be sent here", through, "It's not my fault", to "It's your job, not mine".

There can be obvious, understandable hostility to being in residential care. There can be a destructive loss of pride and independence. There can be fear and clinical depression. There can simply be incomprehension, apprehension, and resentment of the unknown.

The first stage in Goal Setting is to create space to discuss what your form of residential care means and what it offers the individual. Where does s/he want to be, where does s/he want to go?

S/he'll probably say s/he wants to go home, wants a place of his/her own, wants independence, wants fun, fame, fitness, and fortune.

Take that wish, take that dream, and try to make it into a reality s/he can internalise. "If you are to have a home of your own, how would you go about paying for it, cooking for yourself, etc.?"

If the dream is utterly fantastic and unachievable - "I want to be Emperor of Japan" - drag the fantastic back to reality. Reinforce notions of how the real world works and get the individual to try to formulate 'real' goals for that 'real' world.

Resistance, hostility, apathy, and incomprehension are challenges. Your mission - and you have no choice about accepting it - is to find means to get the individual to communicate, and to value the process of communication as a positive enhancement of his/her self-esteem and self-confidence.

Get the individual to the negotiating table and get her to start looking at his/her own Wheel of Life by completing the circle we began last time.

What does s/he understand by 'Family'? Fill in a picture of what this means to him/her. Does s/he have a close, supportive family which is actively engaged as part of the team? Does s/he have no family? Has his/her experience of family life been violent and abusive?

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