Oy To the World

Let me preface this article by saying that I have nothing against Christmas, Christians or anything having to do with either. What I do have a problem with is religion in schools.

The "Holiday Pageant" used to be called the "Christmas Pageant". Long ago, in public schools, children sang about the birth of Jesus and Santa Claus just before Christmas on the stage in the gym. They wished us a Merry Christmas, told of Rudolph's epic trials, and harmonized quite loudly about a Silent Night.

Now, they pepper the songlist which includes "Frosty the Snowman" and "Jingle Bells" with songs about Pinatas, Dreidels and Kenorahs. "Diversity!" the parents cry and diversity, they get.

Still, there are glitches. When my little yiddishe maideleh came home and told me that her class was going to sing "Joy to the World," I lurched. That's not a secular song. That's a song specifically about the birth of Jesus, and it's being taught in public school. I start to sing it and ask her if that's the tune she's been asked to learn. "No, no, no, mommy," she says, her eyes showing pity for mommy's obvious concern. "It's the 'Jeremiah was a bullfrog' one!"

A brief wave of relief washes over me until I start to hum the song, thinking of Three Dog Night's words..."Jeremiah was a bull frog (da da da) Was a good friend of mine....I never understood a single word he said...But I helped him a-drink his wine....And he always had some mighty fine wine"

Children singing about drinking. Fantastic.

"Singin'...{Refrain}..Joy to the world All the boys and girls, now...Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea...Joy to you and me"

Nice chorus, nothing wrong there...

"If I were the King of the world...Tell you what I'd do... I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the wars..." Nice sentiment, world peace and all, fine, fine... "And make sweet love to you"

Hold the phone! Inappropriate! Inappropriate!

"You know I love the ladies...Love to have my fun...I'm a high night flier and a rainbow rider..." That's it. Calling the principal!

They might as well sing "Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll" by Ian Dury and the Blockheads. At this point, I would rather they sing the one about Jesus! What the heck is a high night flier anyhow? Rainbow rider? Oy!

Several days later, as I'm pacing, trying to think of what to say to the principal, to the music teacher, and to my husband when he finds out, darling daughter tells me that the music teacher has taken that song off the roster. It is being replaced with "Oh, Christmas Tree".

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