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Deck Your Halls, Not Your Relatives

© Julie J. Murelle

Okay, this is a tough topic, much a kin to religion and politics: Your relatives and Christmas and stress. This mixture can bubble up a cauldron of ill will and stress. While many of us are fortunate to have loving relationships with most of our families, many times the holiday season thrusts you together with a few that do not wish you glad-tidings, comfort or joy. It could be in-laws who do not accept you (or your mate), or a sibling or parents that you have had a falling out or disagreement with. It might be an uncle who annoys the heck out of you or an aunt who is critical of your way of life. You may not even remember what the animosity is about. (There are tons of combinations here, just fill in your own blank if this applies.)

If this is a problem that vexes your holidays and darkens your thoughts of a holly, jolly Christmas, it can result in only one thing, a stress filled holiday.

So, how does one deal with these sorts of situations, without it ruining the event?

1. Make sure that you have a password with your mate or someone that you trust, so that if the situation becomes unbearable, this person can help get you out of the situation or at the very least get you away from the person.

2. Second, if possible, try not to let this person bother you for one day. Instead of getting upset by this person's words and or criticisms, try to respond with a positive to their negative and a smile to their frown. I know that this is hard, but instead of letting them push your buttons, make sure that those defensive buttons are out of their reach. For example, your aunt Myrtle approaches you and says, "My you are looking Rubenesque this season!" (Which in translation means you must have put on tons of pounds this year and you remind me of the women in Ruben's famous paintings.) There are four things you could choose to do in reaction.

a. You could start to try to enforce some sense and manners into auntie, by shaking her so hard that her furry Russian hat falls from her head.

b. You can run screaming from the room and lock yourself in the bathroom, sobbing wildly at auntie's insensitivity.

c. You can calmly say, "That really hurt my feelings." Or

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