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Let One Thing Go

© Julie J. Murelle

I am a checker, no, not in a grocery store and not a game-piece. I am a person who has to check certain things before going to bed or leaving the house.

When I was growing up, I did not feel like the adults in my life were able to keep me safe. My mother would leave the stove on accidentally, would forget to lock the door at night, and we lived in a neighborhood with gangs in it. I devised my own plan for getting out of the apartment incase there was a fire, because I wasn't taught what to do or where to go if this occurred. We lived on the second story of an apartment building and I had lost so much in my young life. The thought of loosing my life or my beloved stuffed animals was too much to bear. Before going to bed at night, I would bundle up all of my cherished animals in my old baby blanket and tie them within. That way if there was a fire, I could grab the bundle and jump out of my bedroom window. I figured that I could survive the jump from the second story and maybe just break a leg or arm, but I would still be alive. I also kept a glass of water by my bed every night incase I started choking in my sleep. I was followed home from school one day, (and not by Mary's little lamb). A man was following me. Every time I crossed the street, he would too. After three times of doing this, I ducked into an apartment building, ready to pound on any available door, if he came in. The preventative measures I took as a child to survive were endless.

As an adult, I still have certain measures I take to ensure my safety and the safety of my children. Hence the meaning of the statement," I am a checker". I check things. Before bed, I check to see that all of the doors are locked, that the stove is not on and that the coffee maker is unplugged. I tend to do these things several times, just to make sure. It is the same when I leave the house. I have to check that the dogs are inside, that they have water, that the stove is off, that the coffee maker is unplugged, and that all lights are turned off.

The copyright of the article Let One Thing Go in Relieving Stress is owned by Julie J. Murelle. Permission to republish Let One Thing Go in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.