Take this article for instance. I'm writing it two days after it's supposed to be published. Why? Well, I wanted it perfect. This is the third completely new version. My first attempt I asked people to fill out a questionnaire about perfectionism, send it to me, and I'd write on a broad scope of how others and myself cope with perfectionism. You see, I didn't think my ideas on how perfectionists were, well, perfect. My computer crashed twice, losing all the emails and research I had conducted. So if you're reading this article expecting to see your questionnaire answers, I'm sorry.
The second version I wrote at 2 am in the abyss of depression. I gave examples of how I failed at everything I ever tried and in the end it boils down to perfectionism is caused by a severe lack of self-confidence. That is true, but it's not the whole story.
Yesterday I checked out Never Good Enough Freeing Yourself from the Chains of Perfectionism by Monica Ramirez Basco, Ph.D. Perhaps if I had an outsiders view of perfectionism I'd be able to write about it. I'm too close to the subject to do it justice. Turns out I'm closer than I thought.
Basco's cure for perfectionism lies in Cognitive-Behavior Therapy, which is what this whole Recovery through Spirituality topic is based upon. Cognitive-Behavior Therapy (CBT) basically works in staying conscious of your thoughts and changing them before they can cause harm. I know this is an over simplified explanation. If you catch yourself, you can heal yourself. And that's what recovery is all about.
And what self-help book worth reading doesn't come with a self-assessment quiz? This one does. It finds out your degree of perfectionism, what areas your perfectionism comes into play and if you're an Inwardly Focused Perfectionist (IFP) - you beat yourself up for "failing", you hold yourself to higher standards or an Externally Focused Perfectionist (EFP) - you hold others to standards of perfectionism, and rather do the work yourself because you know it'll get done right the first time. According to the book, if you score "higher than 91 suggest a level of perfectionism that could cause you serious problems." I scored a 102 out of 120. My IFP score is 39, and my EFP score is 36. Here's a list of the areas perfectionism is broken down into with my scores; the max score being 12 in any category.
