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This second part ends my article about dealing with emotions. I have discussed, in the first part of this article, that Buddhism proposes eschewing attachment as a permanent solution to this problem.
While we don't necessarily need to get into such mechanisms, there are simple things one can do to think out emotions. 1. The most important thing to do is keep conditions favourable to rational judgment. This entails that you must permit yourself to stay calm, notably by getting away from (or lessening the impact of) high-stress situations, and take a break when emotions are heating up. Code-words can be useful for the latter, especially if you are involved in a relationship with a lot of conflicts. After observing the rise of an emotion, we must observe what stimuli gave rise to the emotion, and if that stimuli is objective. 2. If I am feeling fear, there may be a simple explanation such as the unexpected appearance of a bear. However, some emotions are not as obvious, and the obvious stimuli may be a red herring. For example, someone feeling frustration against a co-worker's antics may identify the latter as the cause, but the real cause may be a difficult family relationship which has become routine and is creating emotional tension. In such a case, it is necessary to evaluate how we feel in the different contexts before the stimuli as well. 3. Evaluating the objectivity of the stimuli can be as simple as seeing that indeed there is a danger element present, instead of perhaps an optical illusion. In a situation where danger is imminent (either positive or negative), heavy thinking can be impossible. In most daily situations, however, we can think through our actions. 4. The last step is to evaluate whether the emotion is a rational reaction to the stimuli. In this evaluation, we must check whether the emotion is : * proportional to the advantage/problem the stimuli presents. While it may be justified to be angry at someone spilling your coffee, getting into a red-faced fury is definitively the sign of a major emotional problem. Likewise, being a good sport about the spilling is a good reaction, but feeling anxiety about it is simply not appopriate (unless, say, the coffee was spilled over your clothes and you have an important meeting in a few moments). The general rule is that moderation and compassion is better than lack of control and self-destruction. Go To Page: 1 2
The copyright of the article Dealing with emotions (II) in Rational Spirituality is owned by . Permission to republish Dealing with emotions (II) in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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