Who knows better about violence against women than women who experience it? Studies tell us that, in most countries, 50 to 100 per cent of women have experienced physical or sexual violence.
Learn about violence by asking a woman who trusts you how violence has affected her life. Then, if she feels comfortable to talk, sit back and listen. Your role isn't to challenge her on the details, nor to debate whether something really should have bothered her or not. It is to listen. Simply trust that if she tells you something hurt her, then it did hurt her.
And turn to your local women's organizations. They have a wealth of accumulated experience and knowledge. Talk to them. Read their publications. Contribute financially. Learn from them.
2. Learn about the problem.
Violence against women includes physical and sexual assault, sexual harassment, psychological abuse, or emotional abuse. Not all violence leaves visible scars. Emotional violence includes regular subjection to demeaning jokes, domineering forms of behavior, and sexual harassment.
Some forms of violence have a greater physical or emotional impact than others. But all forms of violence contribute to the very real fear and suffering that women in our society endure. The basic rights that most men enjoy - safety in their homes, ability to go out at night, a job free of harassment - are a source of fear for women in much of the world.
The fear is greatest in women's own homes. A common myth is that most violence against women is committed by strangers. In fact, women are most at risk from men they know--husbands, boyfriends, fathers, relatives, employers, and care givers.
Most men love and care about women. And yet frightening numbers commit acts of violence against the women they say they love. It occurs throughout the world, among the rich, the poor, and the middle class, and among those of every nationality, religion, and race.
3. Learn why some men are violent.
Men are not naturally violent. There have been societies with little or no violence. Studies over the past century have found that half of the tribal societies studied had little or no violence against women, against children, or among men. Furthermore, even today, in many countries the majority of men are not physically violent.
Violence is something that some men learn. Men's violence is a result of the way many men learn to express their masculinity in relationships with women, children, and other men. Many men learn to think of power as the ability to dominate and control the people and the world around them. This way of thinking makes the use of violence acceptable to many men.
