Understanding the Crisis
Some of our more immediate reactions may begin with shock and is sometimes accompanied by hostility towards family and friends--anyone who we perceive as trying to help. We may begin having nightmares--extremely vivid and violent nightmares--the kind that causes you to awaken abruptly in a cold sweat. We may begin to notice that our comfort levels around acquaintences and strangers has changed, gradually at first, but then we notice that we are taking drastic measures to avoid being around them. We may begin to make changes in our normal lifestyles to accomodate our newly established fears.
It is during this time that we begin re-establishing our daily routines. Most survivors will attempt to return to their regular activities a relatively short period. There are those of us, however, who find this return to normalcy a bit more difficult to handle...so it takes us additional time and outside help to work through it. That's perfectly okay. When we do return to our normal activities, and re-establish as many of our personal and professional relationships as possible, we are actually entering a new stage in our adjustment. We are trying to block the memory of what happened, until the time comes for us to face it.
It is normal during this time to feel anger--not only towards the perpetrators, but sometimes towards ourselves. We may internalize the anger and end up in a state of depression. When this happens, we must make a conscious effort to redirect our anger outwards by yelling at the top of my voice or punching one of my thickest pillows. I've even been known to marathon clean or cook to work through it. Whatever works for you...just do it.
Some of the most common long term feelings that we may experience include a sense of ambivalence, anger, anxiety, a decreased self-image, helplessness, hopelessness, panic, powerlessness, and shame. These may last for months or even years. So don't expect to be free of them overnight. It will take time and effort to work through them and turn them into something that is positive in your life.
Another crisis indicator will be your feelings of self-blame...that old 'coulda, woulda, shoulda' game. You know the one. You begin to feel guilty--although you know you shouldn't. You blame yourself, and you end up wondering if you could have done something to avoid it. It is important to understand and remember that while your feelings are real
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