I AM Co-Dependent

Here are the characteristics of a co-dependent person. I recognized myself in this list a long time ago, but chose to ignore and do nothing about it. Fortunately, that has changed. If you recognize yourself in this, don't ignore it because it won't just go away. Even if you don't address it immediately, at least try to acknowledge that it is a part of you...and that eventually, you will need to work on changing.

~We have an over/under developed sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves. This in turn has enabled us not to look too closely at our faults.

~We "stuff" our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts too much.

~We are isolated from and afraid of people and authority figures.

~We have become addicted to approval and/or excitement (crisis) and have lost our identity in the process.

~We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.

~We live from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.

~We judge ourselves harshly and have a low sense of self esteem.

~We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment. We will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings which we received from living with people who were never there emotionally for us.

~We experience guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.

~We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can pity and rescue.

~We have either become chemically dependent, compulsive under/overeaters, etc., or found another compulsive dysfunctional personality, such as a workaholic, to fulfill our compulsive needs.

~We have become addicted to excitement and/or approval.

~We are reactors in life rather than actors.

~We are attracted to compulsive/dysfunctional people such as addicts, overeaters, gamblers, abusers, etc.

~We have difficulty having fun.

~We are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.

~We fear failure, but sabotage our success.

~We lock ourselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternate behaviors or possible consequences.

~We guess at what normal is.

I'm in the process of trying a 12 Steps approach. Check it out, perhaps you will find it interesting as well as helpful.

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