Stages of a Rape Survivor's Reactions

It can be helpful to have an understanding of what usually happens to a survivor AFTER the short-term crisis situation has passed. Many survivors experience the following reactions in stages, once the immediate crisis is over. Of course, this is a general overview. Each survivor begins the process of putting her life back together in a way that is uniquely suited to her.

A. Initial reaction:

Survivors may experience feelings of isolation, shock, hurt and desperation. Some survivors may react to the incident by becoming extremely hostile and belligerent, thus communicating an inability to handle the problem by themselves, while rejecting the efforts of a counselor or advocate.

B. Beginning of readjustment:

The survivor may begin to deal with a lot of frightening feelings, including nightmares, discomfort being with strangers, fear of being alone, and fear that the nagging memories will never go away. During this stage, some rape survivors will make drastic changes in their lives.

C. The re-establishment of a daily routine:

Most survivors do whatever is necessary to re-establish their lives as they were prior to the sexual assault. That is, they will return to work or to school and re-establish personal and professional relationships. The survivor will do anything to feel better, return to a sense of normalcy, and end the horror brought on by the memories of the sexual assault.

D. Anger:

At some point in the process, a survivor may experience angry feelings toward the rapist and towards herself. Anger can create problems, particularly for those people who tend to internalize their anger (such as depression, anxiety, etc.) A counselor or an advocate may be in a position to recognize the process and assist the survivor in redirecting the anger outward (for example: throwing dishes, hitting pillows, yelling, etc.)

E. Guilt:

Most survivors experience feelings of guilt. They wonder if they could have done something to get away from the rapist. They may blame themselves for walking alone that night or leaving a door or window unlatched. Some may wonder if they did something to encourage the rapist. These feelings are very common and need to be taken seriously.

NOTE: Sexual assault centers receive many calls from women who have been raped one or two years previously. Often survivors do not experience the process of working through feelings. It is not unusual for women to still harbor feelings associated with their assault, especially anger towards the rapist and herself. The working-through process also encompasses her feelings and attitudes toward men and sex. It is important not to underestimate the value of working through powerful feelings, even if they are years old.

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