Defensive Stratagies

Date rape is a frightening fact of social life today. The key to prevention is awareness. Understanding how it happens, taking sensible precautions, and preparing defensive strategies can significantly improve a woman's chances of foiling the "nice" man who turns into an attacker.

Although single women are at greatest risk for social rape, no woman is immune. The assailant could be a neighbor, co-worker, classmate or casual friend. It's important, therefore, for every woman to be on guard in any situation that puts her alone with a man she doesn't know whether it be in a car, a dormitory room, an apartment, a deserted office, or even a public facility.

Mothers of teenage girls and others who are dating should also make sure their daughters understand the dangers and learn how to prevent date rape. All women who are dating should be taught to take three precautions:

1. BE ASSERTIVE. The date rapist tests the water before he makes his move, so it helps to set clear limits. If you don't like a man's behavior, send a clear, forceful message: "I feel uncomfortable when you put your hand on my knee. Please stop." Be prepared to withstand pressure--and to follow words with actions (such as leaving immediately). Remember, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT to refuse requests without explaining, to express discomfort, to change your mind and to ask others to adjust behavior that is bothering you.

2. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Many victims of date rape report that they began to have misgivings but ignored them. "When I refused to invite my date in for coffee," one woman remembers, "he said I was uptight and paranoid. I didn't like him at all, but I wanted to prove I wasn't uptight, so I finally asked him in." In another case, a college student was asked to accompany her date to his room while he looked for his scarf. "I'd just met him and felt uneasy, but I didn't want to make a big deal of it, so I went." If these women had trusted their instincts and stood their ground, two rapes might have been prevented. When you feel uneasy, pay attention. If you feel threatened, get out of the situation immediately. Forget your embarrassment and your manners. Always carry enough money for a taxi ride home.

3. BE WARY OF ALCOHOL AND OTHER DRUGS. A would be rapist may ply his date with liquor to blur her judgment and confound resistance. It is unwise for a woman to drink more than she knows she can handle or to use drugs. Any loss of control on her part increases the risk.

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