I have always held the belief that children are pushed away to learn to *do it on their own* far to early. I do not think there is anything detrimental with a child gaining his confidence at a personal pace and not making them interact simply because I think it will better them.
My oldest(six and a half) actually got up at the unearthly hour of 4:30 am (!!) to go with his dad over an hour away and spray crops all morning. This may seem like no big deal to many but in our family, the boys do not go away from home to do much of anything without me. In fact, to be honest they NEVER go. Yes, they are asked and Yes, they consider it but the idea never seems like a good one. I do not push them to go and say that they will have a good time once they are there. I simply say it is up to them and let it go. Don't think for a minute that I have not received a ton of flack for this attitude. Again that ugly idea that my parenting is in some way a reflection on that other parent's ideas of parenting rears its ugly head and there is either stony silence or the other parent seems to think I am ruining my boy's chances of having a normal life. I just KNEW that the time would come when they would be ready to go out and try something new. I also knew that my making them go would make it *my* hope for their experience and not their own desire to get out there and try something.
When they came back, Nathanial was bursting with stories and ideas of how to improve on spraying crops, bug habits and ideas of a better breakfast in a bag than the one mom packed for him.
I am so pleased to see my child maturing at his own pace and I give myself a small pat on the back to have left him to choose his own path in this one.
My youngest son is different in many ways. He is more extroverted in expressing his feelings, speaking up for himself and trying new things. For all these qualities, he still is no where near ready to go away from home on his own. Even though he was not happy to have missed the trip out with Dad, he was not asking to go. He just didn't want the trip to be offered quite yet. Although the thought of a three year old waking up at 4:30 is frightening to me, may be by this time next year he will be the first one to the door when asked. I am ready to wait and see.
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