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Mar 30, 2001
I never really noticed it at first. Nathanial was asking to come into the house in the afternoons and do this or that. He would discourage Gabe from following along by getting him involved with something I was doing and then going . One day, Nathanial asked me what time it was. I said 3 o’clock and he said it was time for him to go in. When I asked him why he had to go in just then, he replied that it was time for him to be alone.
I have spent a large part of my parenting career directly in contact with my children. Other than a short few months when N was a toddler, they have never been in daycare and we don’t even have a babysitter. The reason for this is twofold. I have always worked out of the home and my kids have always been seriously bothered by my leaving them for any reason. Many parents and so called experts will say that you HAVE to leave your kids with other adults for the kid’s sake. I say that this is hogwash. As with any milestone, you children will become ready to separate from you in their own good time. As for working parents and daycare and all that, the important thing is that the children get a chance to bond with one good daycare provider(and I am talking of kids any age, not just babies and toddlers).
After 6 years of Nathanial not being comfortable with being left with anyone or alone, he is finally able to enjoy time to himself and on his own terms. I am glad that he has gained the confidence to do that.
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The copyright of the article Alone Time in Raising Boys is owned by Amy B. Jeanroy. Permission to republish Alone Time in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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