Adjectives and Adverbs are NOT Good Description


© Laura Elvin
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Adjectives and Adverbs are Yuck! (aka Be Specific!)

I didn't learn until quite late in my writing career the damaging effect of too many adverbs and adjectives. Now that I KNOW about them, however, I don't see writing the same. Now, it really stands out when I read writing that is littered with adverbs and adjectives, the poor man's substitute for good description.

Example #1:

  • "Doris walked silently through the pitch black of the deserted, empty house, fingers pushing lightly on each closed door.

    After a little cleaning, and some A/A (adverb/adjective) removal:

  • "Doris crept through the blackness of the deserted house, fingertips pressing on each closed door.

  • "walked silently" becomes "crept" (specific verb to replace blasé verb with adverb)
  • "pitch black" becomes "blackness" (goodness, black is black! no need to say it was LIGHT black or Dark black or anything else... if it's not black, describe it as something else... if it's black, just let it be black)
  • "fingers pushing lightly" becomes "fingertips pressing" (specific noun and verb to replace a common verb and a common adverb)

    Example #2

  • Matt, one of the biggest men you could imagine, walked heavily through the antique store, while Jessie's eyes looked quickly at each item left quivering in his wake.

    After a little cleaning, and some A/A (adverb/adjective) removal:

  • Matt's behemoth form lumbered through the antique store, while Jessie's eyes darted to each item left quivering in his wake.

  • "one of the biggest men you could imagine" becomes "behemoth" (simple, yet descriptive)
  • "walked heavily" becomes "lumbered" (specific verb to replace blasé verb with adverb)
  • "eye looked quickly" becomes "eyes darted" (specific verb to replace blasé verb with adverb)

    These examples were off the top of my head, but I think you get the idea.

    The thing to remember is this: Use specific NOUNS and VERBS to do most of your work. Don't be lazy and coat everything with adverbs and adjectives. Use those sparingly. I'm not saying they don't have a place. They do. But when overused, it is a sure sign of amateurish writing. Worse, however, your works won't leave the same impression on the reader as ones where the author is using specific nouns and verbs to tell his story... to SHOW his story.

    I read a line recently in a published novel that had a prepositional phrase, a subject, and an object, all so heavily described that I had to read the sentence over THREE times before I saw what the author was trying to say. What was the important part. Yes, we want to "paint a picture" for the reader, but be judicious in what you're showing him.

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    Here's the follow-up discussion on this article: View all related messages

    6.   May 23, 2000 9:36 AM
    To paraphrase Mark Twain, the best way to deal with an adverb is to kill it.

    Thanks for a great article! It opened my eyes to better writing. Let the A/A hunt begin! ...


    -- posted by Kassper


    5.   Mar 6, 2000 8:21 PM
    Thanks, Destroyer and Donna for posting here! Destroyer, I think you made both our points . Donna, I couldn't agree more about "qualifiers". I'm not an expert yet at spotting them, but I'm a lot ...

    -- posted by Laura_Elvin


    4.   Mar 3, 2000 6:31 PM
    Admittedly, frivolous adverbs and unwieldy adjectives are grossly, redundantly, and repeatedly overused, often by good--I mean really good--writers who definitely should know much better. Then ...

    -- posted by razzmusen


    3.   Mar 2, 2000 7:59 PM
    I excitedly read your informative, interesting article about writers unfortunately overusing adverbs and dismal adjectives. I was immediately thinking of all kinds of poor, bad, and merely fair works ...

    -- posted by DestroyerZ2K


    2.   Feb 25, 2000 4:22 PM
    Hi Katrinko!

    I opened your posting here with trepidation. I'm never sure how people will react to my "writing advice", and there are more than one or two writers in love with advers.

    Thank ...


    -- posted by Laura_Elvin





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