Those events larger than life in politics and the movies offer us front row seats as others, more famous than ourselves, show their character. Personally, literature offers the examples and words which help me to learn about myself and those whose lives touch mine.
In the play, A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry, Lena "Mama" Younger, the matriarch of the family admonishes her daughter for passing judgments on her brother. Mama tells her daughter, "When you starts measuring somebody, measure him right, Child, measure him right. Make sure you done taken into account what hills and valleys he come through before he got to wherever he is."
Recently a friend and colleague of mine had some difficulties with his teenaged child. Since the child goes to the same school in which his father, my friend, teaches, some of these troubles are more public than usual. Part of my friend's suffering comes from his embarrassment that so many people are aware of his child's behavior. There are times when my friend's reactions seem strange, but I have to remind myself to not judge him. I haven't had to deal with the problems he has, but how would I react if I had? I have no idea. I haven't walked in his shoes or traveled the same roads. All I can do is quietly offer support and comfort even when his child acts up in my class.
The other day this same friend and I heard about another colleague's troubles dealing with the alcoholism of a grown son. Quietly my friend said, "I guess we all have our crosses to bear." That was all he said but the cliched statement was enough for both of us. I was reminded in a very powerful yet simple way that none of us are free of disappointments and despair. And my friend remembered that he wasn't the only one with problems which made him realize that we could not pass judgments upon our fellow teacher.
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