In Favor of Medication

For as long as I can remember, I've been tired. With depression comes a pervasive, overwhelming exhaustion. Some days I find it hard to get out of bed in the morning. Some days I'm too tired to sleep. I tell this to my therapist. She refers me to a psychiatrist to have my medicine and dosage reevaluated.

I take Prozac. I have for over a year now. Admitting that I take Prozac is still hard for me. It feels like standing up in front of a 12-step group and admitting I'm an alcoholic or a junkie. In recent years, there's been a large backlash against the use of medicine to alleviate mental health disorders. Antidepressants have come under the most vehement attack. I understand the concern, and keep my admissions to myself.

My therapist's referral to a psychiatrist surprises me. And I feel a certain Do-As-I-Say-Not-As-I-Do guilt. My primary physician gave me my Prozac prescription. I haven't been in to see her or for a follow-up in over a year. I know better than that.

I go make the appointment for the psychiatrist. I'm not willing to give up the Prozac. Despite the backlash against antidepressants, despite the taboos and my own silence, I'm a staunch supporter of antidepressants. If I know nothing else, I know, for me, that Prozac works. But then, I'm also realistic. I know medicine is a mixed bag.

One of the arguments against antidepressants is that they are over prescribed. And there may be some truth to that statement. If nothing else, medicine, unlike psychotherapy, is convenient. Without a referral, without having to spend hours talking with a patient, a primary care physician can take out their prescription pad and write a prescription for antidepressants. Even health insurance is beginning to see the benefit of paying for prescriptions for antidepressants. After all, medicine is cheaper than psychotherapy.

Too, a prescription for antidepressants can give a patient an almost placebo-like instant gratification. Though my primary care physician informed me it would take at least four weeks for the Prozac to begin working in my system, I instantly felt better with a prescription in my hand. For the first time in a long time, I felt as if something might be able to help me.

After four weeks, I could not admit to any dramatic turn around. But what I felt was an easing of my depression, as if I could finally release a large sigh that had been building up in me. The pendulum of my depression did not swing as wildly. My extremes grew less extreme. The Prozac seemed to take the edge off of my depression.

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