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CACTUS JACK GARNER: "NOT WORTH A BUCKET OF WARM....."

© John S. Cooper

John Nance Garner spent his entire adult life working his way up to Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, and then gave it up to become Vice President. He later said it was the "worst damn fool mistake I ever made."

John Nance Garner was the son of a Confederate soldier. As a youth, he planned to be a professional baseball player. He played semi-pro ball for a while, but it didn't work out. He then enrolled in Vanderbilt University, but his fourth grade education had not prepared him well enough; he dropped out after only a month. He returned to Texas, and managed to pass the bar examination, and joined a local law firm.

Shortly after beginning his law practice, Garner learned that he had tuberculosis. He moved to the town of Uvalde in southwest Texas, hoping the drier air would restore his health. He did very well in Uvalde, acquiring three banks, several businesses, and thousands of acres of land in addition to building a successful law practice.

At 25 years of age, he became a local judge. From there he went to the Texas legislature. In 1902, he was elected to his first term in the U. S. House of Representatives. Garner won re-election 14 times, rarely returning to his home district, rarely campaigning or making speeches. After his fifth election to the House, he admitted that he had never been in five of the counties in his district.

Garner was not a hard worker in Congress. He made few speeches and introduced no important legislation. A critic once said that Garner advanced in the House of Representatives "mainly because of the obituary column." But Garner had more going for him than just seniority.

Garner played poker and drank "bourbon and branch water" with his House colleagues. He referred to his drinking as "striking a blow for liberty" but others said he was violating the Constitution, since prohibition (the 18th Amendment) was in effect for most of his time in Congress. His winnings at poker exceeded his annual salary for a number of his years in Congress.

Where Garner secured his leadership position in the House was at his daily meetings of the "Board of Education." He made enough friends and influenced enough members to get himself elected House Minority Leader in 1929. He was just one step away from his dream of becoming Speaker of the House.

In the 1930 elections, the Democrats took control of the House with a majority of just a single seat. But it was enough to make "Cactus Jack" Garner Speaker of the House. As Speaker, "Cactus Jack" continued his Board of Education meetings, using them to plan the schedule of the House, influence decisions, and educate new members. At closing time in the House, Garner would say, "Boys, let me stick my finger in the mouth of my pet snake and see if he'll bite me this afternoon. Because if he does, as he had in the past, I will be in need of the cure, and we will have to go to the Board of Education room and take care of the situation pronto."