Surviving the Holidays With a Baby in the Hospital

In an article published in Early Edition, Kerry Bone and Mara Tesler Stein (both mothers of preemies) say that it is normal to be torn between a desire to participate in family traditions, and a yearning to be in the hospital as much as possible. They suggest that parents may feel guilty not only for spending time away from their child, but also for enjoying themselves. They stress that enjoying yourself is okay.

However, if you do not feel up to joining all of your family's activities, enjoy one or two. Then, head back to the hospital. "Do whatever brings you comfort and peace," Tracey advises.

Be Thankful

Martin, father of a 25-weeker, says it is important to focus on the positive and be thankful for what you do have. You may not think that there is anything to be grateful for when your child is in the hospital, but every gram she gains is a new miracle. Even if your child has passed away, you can be grateful for the time you were able to spend with her.

Many of the parents polled expressed appreciation for their children's nurses who went the extra mile to make the holidays more enjoyable. Deborah, mom of a 29-weeker who is now 4, said her baby's nurses were upbeat and did not complain about having to work on the holidays. She added that Santa came into the NICU, and posed for pictures beside the isolettes of sick babies. Anna, mom of a 30-weeker who was hospitalized over Easter, said her nurses decorated the babies' cribs with posters and pictures to help make the season brighter. Other parents mentioned nurses who made cards, hung stockings, and otherwise eased the difficulty of being at the hospital during the holidays. Be thankful for hospital staffs who care about you and your child(ren).

Create New Traditions

Several parents mentioned that their children were given Christmas gifts while in the hospital. These had been donated by families who had had children in the NICU or had other reasons to donate. After her ordeal in the hospital, Anna decided to start a family tradition: every year, they bring preemie-sized clothing to the NICU, which has no budget for baby clothing. What a wonderful tradition!

Even if you cannot contribute gifts, you can sing carols in the hospital wards or visit with children and others who are sick. You can donate decorations and handmade items.

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