Our preemie entered the world on November 5, just weeks before Thanksgiving. We canceled our plans to travel to Washington, and celebrated the holiday with relatives who lived close by. Afterward, we returned to the hospital to cradle our baby. As the weeks passed, T.J. improved, but seemed far from coming home. Mid-December found us still in the hospital, waiting for him to gain weight and breathe without the aid of supplemental oxygen. We admired the hospital's Christmas decorations and listened to the carolers who chorused through the halls, wondering how we were going to survive a holiday spent in T.J.'s little hospital room. Luckily for us, T.J. came home on December 15, a week and a half before Christmas. Others who have shared their experiences were not so lucky, and ended up spending Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and other holidays in the hospital with their children.
If you are facing a holiday in the hospital, please consider the following advice, given by parents just like you:
Focus on your child
Tracey, mother of 25-weeker twins, one of whom passed away shortly after birth, said that when her children were hospitalized over the holidays "gift-giving and other Christmas stresses didn't matter. My babies did."
Tracey and other parents recommend reducing the stress of the season by doing only what feels comfortable to you. If you can't find the time or energy to address Christmas cards, don't do it. People will understand. You can also minimize your own stress by enlisting the help of others. Let a grandparent or other relative play Santa Claus this year, suggests Tracey. Allow someone else to cook Christmas dinner so you can spend the time with your baby. The bottom line is: focus on your child and don't feel pressured to get your decorations up, your cards written or a large dinner baked. Modify your traditions so that you can enjoy them, but so that they won't take away from your time at the hospital.
