Hello to Where I've Been

The sun beamed down on the festive gathering, spotlighting children racing to and fro. Under makeshift tents, dozens of parents sat, feasting on barbecue and comparing stories about their kids. It could have been any group of children, any group of parents: only on a closer inspection would you see the difference. The abundance of double and even triple strollers, the smattering of oxygen tanks and nasal cannulas, and the occasional crippled child reveal it for what it is: a reunion for children that resided in the NICU.

We attended the event, proudly toting our healthy baby. At 7 months old, he is still thin, but his nasal cannula is long gone, and he is progressing well. We camped out on our quilt, surrounded by pink-cheeked babies and smiling parents. Only 6 short months ago, we met under very different circumstances. Back then, we called to each other from across a crowded intensive care unit, beckoned each other to isolettes to admire our tiny babies. At that time, it was impossible to say which infants would survive and which would not. Now, out in the bright sunshine, under colorful tents, snacking on barbeque chicken, the dark days in the NICU seem so far away.

As the group gathers for a "family" picture, I notice a tiny infant. Her little face is pinched, her eyes squeezed tight against the sun. She is impossibly frail. The nasal cannula under her nose dwarfs her tiny face. Her mother looks tired and prematurely aged; she smiles and nods when the parents around her tell her that patience is the key. I feel tears welling up in my eyes, for that was me not so very long ago.

Now, as I watch my little boy curled up in his crib, snoring peacefully, I utter a silent prayer of thanks. I am grateful for where I have been - I learned so much - but I would not trade here for there. The young mother at the reunion showed me where I have been; the other parents, with their pudgy toddlers, showed me where I will be; all I can do is enjoy where I am right now, and thank God for where I have been.

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