For those who do not understand the code of the above statement.......that's ME. That is what I have become since we first started trying to conceive. There are a LOT of us out there on the net that no longer have a simple name or nickname. Instead, we share a slice of our journey by revealing our TTC status in code. For those that are new to this, the above translates to:
Hi, my name is Maya, and I am 38 years old. I am currently trying to conceive a first child together with my darling husband Mick. I have two dear sons conceived in a previous marriage who are now 18 and 16 years old. I had a tubal ligation in 1993 using the "clips" procedure. I had a tubal ligation reversal done in June of 2000. In August of the same year, we conceived but unfortunately miscarried. I had an HSG test done in December to see if my tubes are still open and fortunately they are. We are currently in on cycle day 9 of our 7th cycle trying.
In providing the above information, it is usually possible for us to find and connect with others who are going through the same experiences and learn from each other. However, even though this information is factual. It does not actually reveal very much about my journey, or who I am as a person. I do feel it is helpful to share tips and information about how to increase your leutal phase, or how to improve cervical mucus, or what doctor may be the best to use for a tubal reversal. However, in this age of information and with the tools of the internet, it is so easy to get caught up in gathering facts, losing touch with the real opportunity for human connection.
In my article last week, I shared a very intimate part of myself. I simply lifted a page from my diary and gave voice to the darkness that clouds my heart at the end of every cycle. This last cycle was particularly disappointing. My chart was a real teaser, for it had all of the classic signs of pregnancy. As a seasoned charter who often helps others decipher their own charts, I couldn't believe my eyes when my own chart looked so beautiful. Having ovulated on Christmas Eve and beginning a new year, I was certain that there was magic at work in my court. I was sadly mistaken in believing I may be pregnant, and it was a long fall when my balloon of high hopes burst at the arrival of my period.
