My Own Journey into Motherhood
I think it important that before I start sharing my own concepts and philosophies on pregnancy and motherhood, that I might reveal a little of my own journey to give you a better understanding of where I am coming from.
I was married when I was all of 19. I believed I had the world at my fingertips, and could make anything happen if I only wanted it badly enough. As many little girls grow up with fairy tale notions of love and romantic ideals of family, I too stepped into the realm of motherhood with a great deal of naivety and youthful excitement.
Only 9 months after we were married, my husband I and I decided to have a baby, with absolutely no effort whatsoever, conceived in our first month trying. I was thrilled with the idea of being pregnant, and imagined myself blossoming into a glowing pregnant woman, with a round little belly. It is at about this point that my fantasy soon gives way to reality.
The first trimester was typical of most pregnancies. I was so exhausted that I was falling asleep at work, and I hardly glowed, but on the bright side, I had no morning sickness and was not gaining any weight. However, my first visit to my doctor in the second trimester landed me in a hospital, with a huge sudden weight gain and a diagnosis of gestational diabetes. Thinks were not going as they were planned and the rest of the pregnancy went down hill from there, with a whole host of other problems developing, that caused me to feel terrible, look awful and gain 50 lbs.
By the time I was ready to deliver, I was no longer the optimist that I was when I had entered into the pregnancy, and I didn't hold high hopes that the birth would be any better. My due date came and went, and I was fed up with feeling so horrible, so when my doctor suggested induction, I was eager to jump.
I didn't know a thing about the procedures he was to order on my behalf, and when I asked questions I was always told "don't you worry about that dear". To be honest with you, I was quite content not to, as the good old Doctor, always had a way of making me feel protected and looked after like daddy's little girl. Over the course of the pregnancy, I had become the sickly patient and he the hero that would save my life and the life of my unborn child. This was obviously not the most empowering relationship for young woman about to embark upon motherhood, yet, I was young, trusting and happy to be lead.
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