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Welcoming Your Second Baby - The Impact on Older Siblings

© Maurenne Griese

The impact of having a second or subsequent child is often overwhelming to parents. Your first child has taken so much of your love, time, attention, space in your home, income, that parents wonder how they will ever manage more than one. They may perhaps wonder if they will ever be able to love a second child as much as the first. Will there be enough love for both? Will your second child be a welcome addition? If you're feeling overwhelmed, consider how your firstborn may be feeling!

Ideally, your second child will teach your first child to share and eventually provide a live-in playmate and lifelong love and companionship. He or she will also bring your firstborn down to earth a bit too! Two things parents can plan on for sure is that your second child will not be a replica of the first and you cannot predict the reception of the second by the first. So, how can parents prepare their children for the birth of a new baby?

The obvious first step is to announce that the baby's on the way. The "whens" and "hows" depend not only on the age of your child but the child's interest in the birth and age. For example, my older brother was less than amused when my father announced at the dinner table that he was going to be a big brother. I'm not surprised that he lost his appetite and went to his room to cry for awhile. Larry had been the center of my parent's attention for twelve years and didn't fancy the idea of sharing them with anyone. Fortunately, he became quite fond of me, even feeding me and changing me as I got older. However, that adjustment took some time.

While you don't want to tell children too early in case you miscarry, you also don't want to wait too long to tell a child either. It may help to tell a young child when the baby is due by tying the birth to an event instead of a month or week. For example, I was expecting my son in early December and we told our daughter she'd be a big sister before Christmas. She'll be a big sister again right after kindergarten starts.

How do you prepare your children for life with a new baby? The primary rule is to keep it positive by saying things like, "You're going to be a big brother," rather than, "You're going to have a baby brother or sister." Expose your child to babies so they'll find out how much care they need and

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