Coping With Stillbirth - One Woman's Story


© Mischele Lewis

Losing a child at any stage is very hard on the parents and surrounding family and friends. Its devastating to say the least, carrying a baby nearly to term, feeling it move, seeing it on the ultrasound, hearing its little heartbeat, shopping for it and building hopes and dreams in your mind that are crushed in an instant. Ine one moment, its all gone, leaving you angry and full of questions.

In the case of my friend, Maria Austin, who has agreed to let me tell her stil, ongoing story. In October of 1999, at 38 weeks, she delivered her son, Brandon, stillborn. After many tests, it was concluded that the baby died in utero of placental abruption. Not once did she feel anything abnormal. In fact she had felt Brandon moved just a couple hours before delivery. She had an argument with her husband and went to bed. A couple hours later she awoke with some pains in her stomach that made her feel a little ill, but not labor pains and not painful enough to warrant calling the doctor. An hour and a half later, she awoke with sharp pains and an extremem illness to where she went to the bathroom and vomited violently to the point where she passed out. She thought she was going to die. She crawled back to the bedroom where she awoke her husband who called an ambulance. Once arriving at the hospital, the doctors asked when she last felt the baby move. The baby had always been very active and she told her an hour or two ago. From the look on the faces they knew things were not ok. They broke her waters and put a clip on the baby's head and the fetal monitoring from that was ok. She kept telling them she was ill and not in labor. At one point a young female doctor came in with the midwifes to look at Maria who seemed to think things were ok as well and left. She'd been using the gas and air to control the pain and was given pain relief in the method of Peathodean too. The next thing she knew the doctors were grabbing the gas and air off her and making her use oxygen. They told her to push. Maria pushed as hard as she could and had no baring down pains at all. She felt herself rip then saw the spray of blood while nurses garbed her legs and said push. At that moment, the doctors told her husband to press the red button net to the bed. Within seconds a team rushed in and took the baby to a resuscitating machine next to the bed. As time passed she thought if they revive him now there will be brain damaged but that did not matter she wanted her son to breath. He never did.

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