After a miscarriage, women go through one of two frames of mind, I want to be pregnant again immediately or I can't even think of getting pregnant any time soon. I was the latter. After my miscarriage, I didn't want to try. I wanted the baby that I had lost back and not a replacement. But I had friends who were the "try-as-soon-as-I'm-physically-able-to" type. My dr. had recommended that I wait at least 3 menstrual cycles, but not including the first one that would ensue, before actively trying to conceive again meaning essentially 4 months. A miscarriage takes a lot out of your body. It is the equivalent of actually giving birth. With a miscarriage, your body loses blood and healthy hormone levels. It needs this time to rebuild a healthy supply of blood and new hormones to sustain another pregnancy. I had 3 friends who miscarried around the same time as me, got pregnant within a month, and then suffered a subsequent loss. My doctor informed me that since a miscarriage depletes your hormone supply and to get pregnant so early, its sometimes hard for your already low hormone levels to sustain a healthy pregnancy. I, personally, didn't mind the wait at all and in fact wanted to take a year after my loss to try again. I wanted to grieve and to experience the "1 year circle" where I passed the first Mother's Day, 4th of July, due date, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the 1 year anniversary of my loss before trying again. It all sounded good on paper, but sometimes life just does it's own thing. After only 4 months, the stick was blue again. Was I ready, or not?
The moment I saw the positive test, I went through about a million emotions in that one instant. I was happy, of course, but fearful at the same time. Was this one going to end up like my last pregnancy? Would the baby be O.K.? Was I ready to be pregnant again? Could I handle it emotionally? What will my husband think? Will he be happy? Needless to say it was not planned, but we were excited about it. I knew that all would be O.K. as long as I could get through the first three months, when the hurdles are lowered and things would most assuredly be fine.
