The Supermom Myth

Supermom is amazing. She's always got her act together and is never frazzled and unorganized. She never goes out with her blouse mis-buttoned, and she certainly never smells like baby barf. There are no runs in her stockings. Her hair is shiny and soft, and her skin glows. There are no bags under her eyes.

Supermom's home is tastefully decorated, spotlessly clean, and smells of freshly-baked bread (think Martha Stewart). She lovingly prepares tasty, well-balanced meals for her family. Her baby is always beautifully dressed and never screams in the supermarket. Supermom is always patient and gentle, and every night she sings her baby to sleep with the voice of an angel.

As Supermom's baby grows up, Supermom efficiently and cheerfully juggles a successful career, volunteer work, carpooling, gym workouts, and domestic duties. She does it all, and she does it all well.

Supermom is perfect, except for one thing: she doesn't exist. Certainly there are moms who have some of her characteristics, some of her abilities, some of her blessings, but no one has them all. Nevertheless, the myth remains, and to at least some degree, Supermom is set up as the ideal after which mothers everywhere strive to model themselves.

So what's wrong with aiming to be "Supermom"? Well, for one thing, it ain't gonna happen. You'll never be perfect, and demanding perfection of yourself just sets you up for a big fall when reality hits. Of course you'll want to be the best you can be, but when you have unrealistic expectations, you're going to end up feeling inadequate and disappointed with yourself. This all ends up undermining your confidence and draining the pleasure from caring for your new baby.

So what is realistic? Well, the reality of being a new mom is, first and foremost, sleep deprivation. The degree depends on your baby and your own sleep requirements, but it's pretty well a given that you'll be exhausted for quite some time.

Laundry is another reality. Everything will always be in the laundry, and if you do find clean outfits for baby and yourself, she'll spit up on yours and have a leaky diaper on hers within ten minutes of getting dressed.

Eating sandwiches or instant macaroni for dinner is also a reality, because by the time you climb over the mountain of laundry on the way to the kitchen, the sleep deprivation will hit you and you'll be too tired to cook anything else.

Finally, even if you didn't work outside the home before your baby was born, you may

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