In Easing the Transition to Parenthood, we looked at the essential parts of a "postpartum plan": roles, responsibilities, and resources. In this article, we will explore these ideas again from the viewpoint of experiencing postpartum with more than one baby. Personally, I haven't experienced postpartum with twins, so I won't even attempt to provide an exhaustive list of information and suggestions. Instead, you'll find some suggested resources at the end of the article, and I invite parents who've "been there, done that" to contribute their tips in the discussion area.
Who's going to do what? And when will they be able to do it? Sit down with your partner and discuss as realistically as possible who will do housekeeping, meal preparation, laundry, shopping, diaper changes, infant feeding, et cetera. If one of you is assuming the other will do all the laundry, for example, and that other person is assuming it will fit into YOUR schedule, you've got a problem to resolve before the frustrations start accumulating along with the laundry.
As a mother of twins, you'll need extra help, at least for awhile. If "dad" is able to take a significant amount of time off from work to help and support "mom", that would be great. If not, be sure to arrange for someone to do many of the household tasks in the early weeks so that you can focus on your babies. Enlist friends and relatives to provide meals (and to care for older children, if you have any). You will want to experience the joy of caring for your babies, rather than spend your time on trivial chores (hey, there'll be plenty of time for chores when the kids go to school!). Make a policy: anything that your "helper" can't get done, leave undone! Housework can wait... babies can't.
Scheduling time for yourself will, of course, be more difficult than for parents of one baby. Sleep will be top priority: at times, it may seem like the only important thing is finding an hour to nap! You may not be able to imagine getting out without the babies or having any kind of intelligent, adult discussion with your partner, let alone an intimate
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