Gender Lessons From Coaching

It is a requirement that Conservatives periodically look for life metaphors in the game of baseball. This essay is written in partial fulfillment of this obligation.

There are many arguments about the nature of differences between boys and girls. The question of how much of the observed differences between male and female behavior is genetically wired and how much is learned, the classic "nature versus nurture" argument, is beyond the scope of this essay. This is a catalogue of years of observations after coaching 8 to 15 year-old boys and girls in baseball and softball. It is my feminine side that now refuses to engage in confrontation about the nature of these differences.

Observations:

At a boys' game no player will ask another if he can braid his hair.

At a girls' game, the players will invariably hug in happiness. Boys only reserve this type of demonstrative affection for championships. At all other times, chest butts or forearm bashes are respectable celebrations.

Girls will visit and chat on the bench. Boys will grumble. The advantage when coaching boys is that coaches do not have to squirm as their girl players talk about boys or shaving their legs. There are things you could live an entire lifetime without knowing anything about. Given what girls speak about on the bench when coaches are within hearing range, it is clear than we have entered the category of furniture in front of which anything can be discussed. Another coach suggested that we were more than furniture, we were really withdrawal-only ATM machines.

Both boys and girls manage to bravely play through common pains, the jammed fingers, slide-scraped thighs, and bruises from being hit by a pitch that are a part of baseball and softball. However, the girls feel forgotten unless there are constant inquiries about the injury. If boys are reminded of the pain, the aches hurt more. However, both boys and girls are proud of scrapes that ooze.

When coaching boys you almost need a 2 x 4 to get their attention. Young boys tend to be oblivious to anything. By contrast, girls are hurt unless every critique is phrased as positive encouragement.

A batting order for girls is a measure of social status. Boys need to be constantly reminded where they are in the order.

A boy will never apologize to his entire team in public for not hitting well. I was surprised when a young lady did just that this year.

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