Are indicted and protecting you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
And criticize your doubters too;
If you can talk and not tire of talking;
Or, being caught, add more lies,
Or, being hated, be better at hating,
And yet look so good, and talk so wise;
If you can scheme and not make schemes your master;
If you can think and use it to gain fame;
And win the election just the same;
If you can use the words you've spoken
To twist and turn and make a trap for fools,
And watch Ken Starr unshaken,
Yet build yourself up with polls;
If you can talk with crowds and fake your virtue,
And walk with stars that smile so much;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men distrust you, but don't mind so much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With a money-raising tea with Huang,
Yours is the White House and all that's in it,
And you'll even be re-elected son!
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