For me, the relationship with my own body has always been complex. This complicated relationship started to really get crazy when I hit puberty and began to fill out like any normal woman would. Contributing to this was the odd family relationship in place between my grandmother and me. She would cook and cook and cook and say, "Eat! I cooked all day!" And then you would eat and she would say, "My! Your hips and bottom are getting big, aren't they?!" Hence, bulimia kicked in quickly. You could eat so she wouldn't hound you, and then you could purge and not gain the weight from eating. It was sick from the beginning and it went on for 7 years with me bouncing back and forth between bulimia and anorexia. If any of this sounds remotely familiar to you-- about you or someone you love-- then you might want to check out Edap for help and information. http://www.edap.org/
After 7 years, things got out of hand between my body and deep depression. My roommate at the time urged me to get some help. At the time I was living in Pittsburgh going to college. The University of Pittsburgh had run an ad for a research program happening at UPMC http://www.upmc.edu/ about eating disorder. They offered free council and behavioral therapy for a year with a three year follow up. Being a poor student, this kind of program was impossible to turn down, so I did it. And it proved helpful. While they were focused on behavioral therapy, the doctors there were very clear with me that this kind eating disorder required emotional and spiritual therapy, too. It took me another 7 years, but I finally got steady and was able to stop the binge/purge/starve cycle. And I was coming to terms with my body "as is."
At that point in my life, I met my husband-to-be. Things happened quickly. I had finished undergrad, dabbled in grad school, fallen head over heels in love, moved "permanently" to Seattle, and gotten serious about my writing. My next body challenge came when I got pregnant on my honeymoon! Talk about big changes!!! Ugh. I was unprepared for what would happen in terms of my relationship with my body.
As my body filled out and my clothes grew smaller, all my bells and whistles began ringing and tooting and screaming. The old thought processes started. I knew I had to take care quickly and immediately to not let the behavior patterns start because I wanted this pregnancy to go well and I wanted a healthy baby. So I started with a therapist who offered hypnotherapy and hypno-birthing to take care of myself and prepare for birthing my child.
