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It's All About Who You Are, Not What You Look Like

© Mary Ellen Popolo

I recently received an email from a woman who visited this site for the first time. She said that my first article "The Blushing Big? Bride" was her favorite because she could relate to my experiences as a soon to be bride, especially looking for the perfect dress, not being able to actually try on dresses, and her desire to lose weight before her wedding day. And just like me, she failed to lose the weight and when her wedding day arrived, she had to accept the fact that she was a plus size bride. She decided not to let her weight diminish the meaning of the day. When her special day arrived she chose to focus on the event, the celebration and the special occasion that the day was. Never once that day did she worry about her weight, the size of her dress or how she looked.

She told me that one paragraph in particular was one she could relate to:

" For the first time in my life (maybe even the only time) I put aside my fears and concerns with being overweight. I smiled, I was happy, I danced and I had a great time. And it shows in my wedding pictures."

Even now when I look back at my wedding pictures I remember what a special day it was and how happy I was. I am not horrified by the person I see in the pictures. I don’t hide my pictures - I look at them often.

I’ve seen women on talk shows who have lost weight (sometimes not even a significant amount) and their greatest wish is to have their wedding pictures re-taken in a newer dress as their new thinner selves. Some of these women can’t even stand to look at their wedding pictures because all they see is how much they weigh. This is a concept I personally can not relate to.

I suppose I’ve made the first steps in size and self-acceptance without consciously realizing it. I can look at my wedding pictures and remember how important that day was to me, I see how happy I was and I am not ashamed of how I looked. Even if I were to someday be thin I wouldn’t want my pictures re-taken. I was a plus size bride and taking new pictures will not change that fact.

When it came right down to it, I decided that what was important on my wedding day was the wedding itself, not the size dress I was wearing or how I felt about my weight. When my wedding day arrived it was too late to change how I looked, but it wasn't too late to change how I felt about myself. I decided that nothing could stop me from having a good time and enjoying the day to it's fullest extent. I honestly don't think I could have had a better day, even if I were thinner.

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