22. EDITING DIALOGUE:

As he met her gaze, she thought she noticed a look of puzzlement on his face, as if he was unsure of himself, but only for a moment. Perhaps she had been mistaken? Then he smiled again and as he continued to hold her trembling hand in both of his, murmured, "I don't bite," his voice so low that only she could hear.

Embarrassed by her own nervousness, she decided to say something, anything. "What a lovely view!" She waved a hand towards the windows. And what an inane thing to say! she thought as soon as the words were out of her mouth. A person who had studied English at university should be able to find something to say that wasn't an utter cliché. He'd think she had the brains of a mouse! No, an ant!

END OF EXTRACT

As you can see, we learn a lot about the heroine’s emotions from what she is thinking, ie the words behind the words. But it didn’t happen the first time of writing. It had to be worked on.

I often use this technique in my non-romance novels and think it an excellent one. You can read extracts and see for yourself at my web page at http://www.annajacobs.com

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