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OK, So They Got It Wrong!

© Linda Bond

I don't want to come off super critical or anything, but come on. Those geniuses in our past made mistakes too, you know. Which just goes to prove that a brilliant breakthrough can sit down next to a real quacker in your mind, if you get my drift.

Anyway, in order to provide some examples of these major boo boos, I traveled to Greece (well, sort of) and checked in the archives of that famous historical newspaper, the Athenian Herald. Here's some of the whoppers I came up with:

"Everything is made of water!" - Thales of Miletus just announced his new discovery: all things are made from water. That explains why rain turns back into soil after it hits the ground. (580 BCE)

"Planets Make Music" - Everyone knows that the earth is the center of the universe. Yesterday, however, Pythagoras of Samos announced to the world that the sun, moon, stars and five planets revolve in eight concentric circles about the earth. The friction generated when they move creates sounds we cannot hear. Pythagoras predicts we will someday come to call this the "Music of the Spheres." (530 BCE)

"Men on the Moon!" - Anaxagoras recently told an excited audience that not only did the moon "borrow" light from the sun, it was inhabited. Not sure he has all his oars in the water, some were seen to wander away shaking their heads and mumbling to themselves. This is the same man who earlier rocked the civilized world by announcing that the sun was not actually a god, but a big, hot stone. Those close to the academy insist he will be imprisoned for this announcement and don't want any part of it. (428 BCE)

"Wandering Uterus Cause of Female Hysteria" - The greatest physician of our time, Hippocrates, has isolated the cause of a trait he claims is unique to women: hysteria. In watching the effects of this malady, he now believes it is caused by a "wandering uterus" and is presently working on a remedy which will hopefully encourage the uterus to stay put. (420 BCE)

"Beam Me Up, Scotty!" - According to Democritus of Abdera, all objects radiate beams that induce perceptions in the human mind. Asked who "Scotty" is, Demi's response was, "I don't know. I just heard it in a dream." (400 BCE)

"Arteries Discovered" - Greek physician Praxagoras made history again today when he announced the discovery of arteries, named for their air-carrying properties. "Old Prax" told his audience: "We have long known about the existence of veins which carry blood. We now know what carries the air throughout our bodies." (295 BCE)