Rats Take Hollywood!
© Jane Adamo
Hollywood loves rats. In honor of this blessed season, I have asked members of James Kittock's Ratlist to review rat-related flicks -- even if a rat only had a waddle-on role. Have some Halloween fun! Rent these movies, fill the candy dishes with yogurt drops, kill the lights, and cheer the vermin! And if you're cooking for the holidays, don't forget:
"When preparing potions, there simply is no appropriate substitute for fresh rat spleen." -- Bianca De Pass, High Witch, "Bell, Book and Candle"
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WILLARD
This is the original Ratty Horror flick, and for sheer rats-for-your-buck value, it can't be beaten. You get to meet Socrates, the ultimate pet white rat, and Ben, the "evil" black rat. There are also dozens and dozens of miscellaneous wild rats, including some really cute hooded babies (wild hooded rats?). When you are feeling down about how the world treats you and your rats, watch this movie and plot your revenge!
Score: 4 yogurt-drops
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BEN
The sequel to Willard, featuring the return of that "evil" rat Ben, who leads his ratty legions against a defenseless city! Ben makes friends with a little kid who has some sort of undisclosed ailment, and the whole thing gets very sappy. If you have a softhearted friend who isn't sure they like rats, show them this movie and they'll be down at Petsmart adopting the whole tank of rats before you can say "Michael Jackson". Speaking of the king of pop, he sings the theme song to "Ben". He doesn't actually appear in the movie, though. Now THAT would have been SCARY!
"The man on the radio says there are millions of rats--more rats in the world than people--and they're getting bigger." -- Danny, from the movie "Ben"
Score: 3 overly-sweet yogurt drops
Movie Ratviewers: Jeff Morneweck and the Rats of the Round Table
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RATS
"Hoards of rats take over a department store". if it were MY rats, you'd find them in the formals department trying on anything with sequins and pearls. In the end, they lure all the rats to an empty swimming pool. Rats are spouting from the vents like a GEYSER! Of course, "The Girl" falls into the pool and is drowning in rats. "The Guy" reaches in to save her. Take a close look: the rats biting his hand are cute little rat puppets!
