Rattie New Millennium's Resolutions

Okay, we all know that next year is really the beginning of the millennium, but we'll go along with the rest of the world and pretend that this is it! So what have rats got planned for the upcoming millennium? I talked it over with the gang, and they shared what they consider to be the best resolutions a rat could think up.

• We resolve to make our humans better people (which means more like ratties).

• We resolve to eliminate prejudice in the world one person at a time, one shoulder at a time! We don't care who we hang with as long as they've got good taste in snacks and neither should you.

• We resolve to promote animal rights. Who better than us, the species that really knows what's wrong with human-animal relations?

• We resolve to make our humans vegetarians by causing them to think twice about how production animals are treated and how much protein one really needs to survive. Trust us, pimples would be virtually eliminated!

• We resolve to help people choose sensible ways to handle illness without having to test harmful stuff on poor, unsuspecting lab animals. Too many of our kin have suffered and died in labs for the sake of so-called wonder drugs, which later turned out to be not so wonderful.

• We resolve to help stamp out the fur trade. Those of us with satin fur are almost as soft as the best mink around. Would you want us dangling off someone's back? -- and we don't mean by our toenails, either! (Of course they'd have to change our image a whole lot before people bought ranch rat coats!)

• We resolve to teach our people to be brave in the face of suffering, sickness and death. Any day that you can still eat a yogurt drop and snuggle in a warm lap is a good day and worthy of being savored.

• We resolve to show everyone that a peaceful solution to all problems is preferable to wasting all that energy fighting and that sleeping together in one huge pile is the best way to end the day.

• We resolve to prove that true happiness can be found in the simplest of places and in the simplest of ways. If you have a warm place to sleep, good food to eat, clean water to drink and friends to pass your waking hours with, you have absolutely nothing to complain about!

• We resolve to help in the recycling movement. Pass those cardboard box palaces and interesting crinkly papers, please!
  The copyright of the article Rattie New Millennium's Resolutions in Rats and Rodents is owned by Karen Yang. Permission to republish Rattie New Millennium's Resolutions in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

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