Who turned 40 last year and what are my predictions for how they'll handle perimenopause?
EMMA THOMPSON - As soon as she's done with postpartum depression, she'll swing into mood swings but handle it with a typically British stiff upper lip.
LINDA BLAIR - the little girl whose head turned 360 degrees in The Exorcist. Imagine HER mood swings!
MARIE OSMOND - okay, she has a new TV show, she's come out of the closet about postpartum depression - but for crying out loud, she's still with her brother. She may not experience menopause until she's 70.
TRACY ULLMAN - Tracey takes on...hot flashes! And a new character called Hilary who hilariously struggles with sweating during every occasion.
SARAH FERGUSON - Fergie will switch from hawking Weight Watchers to selling soy milk, will gain back 20 pounds but won't give a damn.
DARYL HANNAH - Seeking an older, more serious man, will start to date David Letterman as soon as he recovers from surgery.
SADE - will come out with a new CD called 'Pause Deluxe with a #1 song titled, "No Ordinary Flash."
Who turned 50 in 1999 and how do I guess they're handling The Change?
JESSICA LANGE - Hmm. I wonder if that's why she made "Titus."
LINDSAY WAGNER - She may still be able to leap tall buildings, but has she remembered to take her calcium?
SHELLY DUVALL - probably gained enough weight to look normal.
MAUREEN MCGOVERN - is wondering about what to do The Morning After a night filled with hot flashes.
SHELLY LONG - is spending more time back at the bar trying to remember everyone's name.
SIGOURNEY WEAVER - well, it's a good thing she's familiar with aliens. That'll give her a clue.
BONNIE RAITT - will cut a new album called, "The Glow #2." We all know what that will be about.
WHOOPI GOLDBERG - will inject menopause jokes into her patter to bring the so-called "silent passage" into full voice. A very funny voice.
Who turns 50 this year?
BARBIE BENTON - one-time fiancée of Hugh Hefner is still proud of posing in Playboy and smirks when people continue to ask, "But what will you tell your grandchildren?"
Go To Page: 1 2
