To My Menopausal Sisters

In a 1998 survey conducted by The North American Menopause Society ("Postmenopausal Women's Perceptions About Menopause and Midlife"), "women were more likely to have discussed menopause or life changes associated with growing older with a friend their own age or someone from their own generation (83%) than they were with their mother or some other woman of their mother's age (53%), with a spouse or partner (61%), or with their daughter or women younger than themselves (69%)."

Well, of course we talk more to our friends than to anyone else. Did they really have to do a survey?

In the last year, the topic of menopause has been covered on every morning talk show. Why? Because boomers are watching as they get ready for work, and TV talk show hosts are slowly but surely swinging into post- or peri-menopause. Think Diane Sawyer. Think Oprah Winfrey. Think Leslie Stahl. Yes, even Katie Couric.

Most of my women friends have made significant lifestyle changes at menopause. They have changed careers. Change in personal habits to become healthier. Increased focus on personal times and personal needs. And we all feel that we've finally, at 45, 50, 55, come into our own. And that comes at a cost.

We no longer are willing to hold our tongues with our parents, our children, our coworkers or our friends. Stupidity in others has become a pain in the ass. So has unnecessary self-seriousness. We are more apt to play, laugh and have a good time with our women friends.

So we meet for dinner and break out our fans and crack up over hot flashes and weight gain and younger men with tight butts. We talk about the pros and cons of the Atkins diet. (All of my friends, by the way, have been on it at one point or another and lost lots of weight, if you want to know. I tried it and had such horrible constipation that I went off it in a week. I've decided to go buy roller blades instead.) We discuss movies we like (American Beauty, Crazy in Alabama), movies we hate (For Love of the Game). We reflect on former husbands and former decisions. We enlighten each other about regrets (few) and future goals (many).

And, yes, we weigh our options for minimizing the symptoms of menopause - trying hormone replacement therapy, adopting a vitamin regimen, decreasing caffeine, increasing exercise.

The one thing we all agree on is the best preventive medicine is lots of laughter with each other.