Parents at It Again

By now you've all heard about the hockey dad who killed the youth hockey coach (another dad), in front of the kids. Or you've heard countless other stories of parents fighting or verbally abusing coaches, umpires and officials, athletes, and other parents at youth sporting events. Sports Illustrated (http://www.cnnsi.com) recently discussed this as a feature article.

But why?

I was watching Politically Incorrect one night, shortly after the Hockey Dad murder, and the topic turned to parents who become violent at kids' sports. These folks were hardly experts, just people spouting their opinion, but their sentiments echoed those of "experts." (By experts, I'm talking about youth sports coaches.) And that opinion is this: too many parents invest too much time and energy in their kids' sporting activities and too many are trying to live out their fantasies through their kids.

I can't argue with the latter opinion. I've lost track of how many parents have said they wished they would have excelled at (fill-in-the-sport) and the desire to have their child succeed.

But the first one? That parents invest too much time?

David Brenner, a guest on PI that night, said (and I paraphrase him here), "How many parents showed up at our ballgames when we were little kids? How many of our games were organized by adults?"

I know when I was a kid, there was midget football which was run by adults and there was some Little League baseball, also run by adults. Parents showed up at the football games. I don't recall many of them at Little League games, until the kids began playing in All-Star tournaments.

I like going to my kid's games. I enjoy watching him play. Do I get angry when the other kids aren't playing fair? Yes. Do I get angry when the coach seems to favor certain kids? Yes. Do I talk to my son after the game, pointing out his strengths and weaknesses? Yes. Do I berate the athletes and coaches? No, but it would be awfully easy to. Every parent wants their child to shine, and no parent wants to see their child be the victim of what they consider foul play.

I wish there were more pick-up games in the neighborhood. Over-scheduled organized sports has ruined that for most kids, as has unsafe neighborhoods. Perhaps parents should be limited to the number of games they can attend. One of my daughter's dance schools prohibited parents from watching classes except for one week each semester, when the parents were invited. The school's owner told me that was how she curbed the stage mom problem (for the most part, anyway). If the parents couldn't watch every move their child made, they couldn't criticize quite as much.

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