Negative Sports Parents Part 2

A friend of mine has a daughter who is a swimmer. The daughter is in high school now, becoming an elite swimmer within her state. It is, says the mother, the daughter's passion. The mother continued, saying by this point (high school), the kids who are pushed into the sport by parents are weeded out -- the practices become more intense and the level of competition increases. Passion, or at the very least a sincere interest, wins out.

However, on the flip side, there are the parents who told their son that he would play football, and that was that. The son skipped practices, took a job that purposely conflicted with his football time, and begged his parents to let him quit. His parents had their eyes on a scholarship, however, and forced him to continue. In his case, it pretty well messed up his life. By the time he went to college -- minus the football scholarship because the one he was offered was not at the school of the parents' choice -- he was burned out on pleasing others. He lasted one semester, then dropped out.

So why do parents push their kids so hard? One dad told me he pushes because he sees his son has a lot of talent and with that talent are college scholarships. Sure, those scholarships are nice, especially with the cost of college tuition these days. But not every kid is going to get a scholarship, and even fewer are going to get the scholarship from the school of their dreams.

Another dad told me that he was a star football player who messed up his chance for a scholarship, and no way would he let his own son mess up the same. This dad refused to consider that perhaps his son has other interests beyond football. Too often, parents use their child to live out an unfulfilled dream -- whether it be sports or career or music. In American culture, the most public pushing comes on the playing field, and it is hard to miss a parent arguing with a relunctant participant.

Then there was my own stepbrother, who played baseball because he loved baseball. My stepbrother was flooded with scholarships and invitations to minor league tryouts and was drafted in the low rounds before heading to college. Suddenly, his natural father stepped into the picture, a man who saw his son only as a future meal ticket. His father's behavior eventually turned my stepbrother against the sport he loved.

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