Taking the Parents from the Game

One of my favorite episodes of The Flintstones is about Fred becoming the umpire of the stone-aged version of Bedrock's Little League team. The fathers push their sons to a point where the boys no longer enjoy the game. In the end, Fred finds a private lot where the kids can play and adults are forbidden. In essence, he gives the game back to the kids.

I want to say, "whew, I'm glad I'm not like those fathers," but in reality, put some sneakers on those prehistoric dads, and there I am. I'll go out on a limb and say that the cartoon parents are representative of most sports parents.

We parents say that we want our kids to play for fun, because they enjoy it. In the next breath, we talk about our little superstars and college scholarships.

I have an email friend whose son just began wrestling. My friend brags about his son and his future free ride through college. The boy is in first grade. My friend says he is joking, and I think he is - to a point. In the back of his mind, he is thinking of finding the sport for his son, the money sport, the future free ride.

I've heard parents yell - literally screaming themselves hoarse - at a child who loses or has played a poor game. After a while, you begin to see the dread in a child's eyes as he/she goes into a game. As parents, we want our child to do well, of course, but should it be at the risk of the child having fun?

Like I said, I'm no innocent. I sit in the bleachers at basketball games and yell instructions to my son. Dribble with your left hand, I yell (because he's left-handed). Pass! Shoot! Finally he told me to be quiet and let him play. It isn't easy. I want him to be perfect on the court. After all, that's a reflection on me, and proves that he can be a good athlete whereas I have zero athletic coordination. (Being a coach's daughter, however, I also lean heavily in the direction of "well, maybe he isn't the best physical athlete, but he thinks the game better than anyone else on the team." It's how my dad thought of me, you know. I've got a good head for sports, like any good coach's kid.)

I think it is a natural right of a parent to want their child to succeed. It's too hard to watch our children fail. I think it is even harder to watch our children have success. With each success comes bigger dreams. A few keep succeeding. Most hit a brick wall - growth stops, development stops, the athletic ability peaks. If we let them, the kids will move on naturally, finding something they are good at. The parents, however, can't let go. They continue to push, encourage, insist.

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