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Coaching Fair

© Sue Poremba

We've heard (and probably read) lots about parent-coaches who favor their own kid or treat their kid harder than the others on the team. This isn't just on the pee wee level, either. Indiana's Bobby Knight had a number of run-ins with his son on the court; Penn State's women's basketball coach Rene Portland received much criticism for playing her daughter over other players. Even Cal Ripkin, Sr. took so heat during his days as manager of the Baltimore Orioles when two of his players were sons second-baseman Billy and shortstop Cal, Jr.

However, what about coaches who push aside learning and fairness aside to focus on winning at all costs? When should a child expect - and accept - bench duty in favor of the "best" kids on the team? And when should a parent become vocal?

Yes, as you can imagine, I had my own experience today. My son played for a basketball program run through our local YMCA. Last year, he came close to quitting thanks to a coach who put his son before the other boys on the team, to the point where a number of parents had stopped bringing their sons to games and practices. This year, my son's coach was better. I was impressed by the way the coach treated his son as an equal to the other boys; I liked the practice work ethic. This team had the potential to gel together and be very good. However, as the season went on, the coach began to favor a group of 4 boys. By rules of the league, each boy was to play one half of each quarter; teams rarely consisted of 10 boys, so the boys often got double duty. The idea was for these boys to take turns. This coach began playing those 4 boys over and over, each one playing the equivalent of 3 full quarters of a game, to the other 5 boys' regular 2 quarters. I could hear the grumbling among the parents. So today, the last game of the season, during the third quarter, I decided to question the coach. He shoved his score sheet in my face and said, "Every boy plays an equal amount of time. No boy gets extra duty on this team." In other words, he lied. In fact, today's game went into over time, and into the game trotted the 4 boys who already had played a full quarter more than the other boys on the team. The fifth boy was my son. I know he went out there for one reason: my big mouth.

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