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SPENDING TIME ALONE WITH EACH TWIN

© Carrie Webbenhurst

Is it important to spend time alone with each of your twins? Yes and no! I don’t believe it will be detrimental to their growth as a person if you don’t do this. But, it will be something you’ll regret if you don’t.

Getting to know your twins separately is the important part. I’ve said it before, “your twins are separate people.” Therefore they have different opinions, views and personalities. How are you going to get to know these two different people, if you don’t spend time alone with each of them? If your twins are like mine, they act one way together and a different way alone. Getting to know those separate people is a gift to you.

My boys don’t seem to discriminate between my husband and I. They also don’t seem to care if it is one boy with both parents or one boy with one parent. They just love when they get to go somewhere (or stay home) with only one parent and by themselves. I think it makes them feel special.

Your twins spend their lives as a pair. But, if only for a brief moment in time, they get to have your undivided (literally) attention – they will remember and cherish that time. And they will want to know when they get to do it again!

Doing something as simple as taking one child with you when you grocery shop. Have one of your twins help you fold laundry or help one of them with their homework. It really doesn’t matter, anything simple will suffice. If you do this – you actually hit both kids at once. One goes on errands with Mom and the other stays home with Dad. You don’t need to use this time for anything special or elaborate. The fact that they are the only child with you at that moment is all they want. My boys love to sit and talk with me while I wash dishes or fix dinner. And they especially like it when it’s just one of them and the other is off doing something else. Even that brief time alone is something they will remember.

Be sure to trade off with your husband (or sister, mother, brother) and find the time to spend alone with each of your twins. Remember to switch twins with your husband so you don’t always end up alone with the same kid (this seems to happen more often than not). Enjoy this alone time getting to know your child without their sibling around. You will be glad you took the time to do this.

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