FAVORITISM BETWEEN YOUR TWINS

This one is better at baseball and this one is better at basketball. This one is better at math and this one is better at art. This one wants you to pet her and this one barks more than the other.

Wait a minute - am I talking about favoritism between twins or dogs??? A friend, who is pregnant with twins, mentioned to me the other day her worry about her husband favoring one twin over the other. She told me how she sees him favoring one dog over the other and worries that it will carry over to their children.

I tried to reassure her that this is a natural thing, but to not worry about it. It will work itself out. There is nothing wrong with liking something better about one twin than the other. You might like how one twin is quieter than the other. You might like how one twin likes something you enjoy doing and the other doesn't. You might like how one twin is better at sports than the other. This doesn't mean you are favoring one over the other, it just means you like certain aspects of their personality than the other.

It's the same with your friends, your dogs, your co-workers, your neighbors, etc. Just because you enjoy doing certain things with one person over another - doesn't negate your friendship with someone else. Hopefully your friends/dogs/co-workers/neighbors/children won't complain about you liking to spend time with other people and you can go about your life happy as a clam. Of course, that's not the way things happen.

So, your job - as a parent - is to figure out how to keep a happy medium. Go ahead and enjoy doing whatever it is you enjoy doing with each separate child. What you have to make sure you do; is to do things with each child separately and not make them try to compete with your time. And make sure you don't feel guilty doing something with one that you wouldn't do with another. You can't always make things equal - but you can make things separate and special for each child.

With my boys, I enjoy spending time doing puzzles with Alec and I enjoy playing playstation games with Logan. Alec and I like to read more than Logan - so we will often spend time in the same room reading. Logan is more active, so one of us will shoot hoops with him or go outside for a game of catch. Both boys like watching movies - so that is something I do with both of them.

Go To Page: 1 2

Articles in this Topic    Discussions in this Topic