Teens and Grandparents
Building the relationship is more difficult when the grandparent has dementia and cannot communicate easily with the child. Help your teens to understand the grandparent's illness and how to work with him. Bring your teen to meetings with doctors and encourage them to ask questions. Your teen can participate in the life of this grandparent through service. Encourage him to bring or make decorations and gifts to give the grandparent-photos and drawings for the nursing home walls, collages, poems and stories to read and display. Have him plan things to talk about-anything of interest to him. Explain that it is possible the grandparent understands more than is believed. This is also true of grandparents who are unconscious. Teens can also bring books to read to their grandparent, or photo albums to share together. Have your teen demonstrate a talent to his grandparent and talk about it together.
If a grandparent lives a distance away, consider purchasing a computer for the grandparent who does not have one. Hook them to the internet as a gift and have the teen keep in touch through email and chat rooms. You can also set up a private web page where your teen and the grandparent can each have a section in which to display pictures, messages, stories and more. Splurge on telephone calls. Just as you might have done when they were younger, continue to mail school papers, newspaper clippings and other items to the grandparent. Encourage your teen to write to their grandparents--using real paper and pencils. In this day of email, that is probably a unique educational experience.
If you homeschool, consider having the grandparents teach a mini-class or discuss recent history with your teen. Reading about World War II is interesting... talking to a grandparent who lived through it is even better.
Ask teenagers to serve their grandparents. We love those we serve. Teens can run errands using their brand new driver's license, prepare food, clean house and walk with a frail relative. Encourage them to watch for opportunities to serve, and teach them how to do it gracefully and cheerfully. Remind them that it is important for the relative to feel that the child is happy to serve.
Don't allow your teen to grow up wishing he had known his grandparents better. He does not have to initially think they are cool, but with time and service, a close relationship can develop between them.
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