Positive Peer Pressure

the positive peer pressure. Eventually, I would have to do it myself. The next time, I laughed and said, “No thanks. I have too many bad habits already. I don’t dare start a new one.” The group laughed too and started talking about their own bad habits and some mentioned wishing they could quit smoking. I didn’t change the world, but I stopped the pressure and perhaps gave someone else the courage to say no as well.

Ask your teen what she would say if someone asked her to help them cheat on a test, ditch school or smoke. Ask her then to imagine the possible responses. What attacks might be made on her for refusing? What will she say or do to those responses? Remind her that she can always walk away. It might mean finding new friends, but sometimes that is the best choice.

She should also be aware of other teens in her group who might need help resisting temptation. If cigarettes are passed around and she can see that another girl in the group in uncomfortable, what can she do to help that friend resist temptation? Help her role-play the situation and find ways to help remove her friend from the scene. Perhaps she could say, “No thanks. Kathy and I need to go to the library. We’ll see you all later.”

One important issue that must be discussed is the issue of accountability. While your teen can try to set a good example for her friends, and even help them resist the temptation to make bad choices, each teen is ultimately responsible for herself. If her friends choose to do things they should not, it is not her fault. She should not blame herself if they refuse to respond to her good example.

Challenge your teen to watch for opportunities to be a force for good among her peers. This will give her a feeling of accomplishment and train her well for the challenges of the future.

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