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Positive Peer Pressure

© Terrie Lynn Bittner

Everyone talks about how awful peer pressure is. It causes teenagers to use drugs, to drink, to do badly in school. However, if peers can influence others to make bad choices, they can also influence them to make good ones. A teen might join a volunteer project because all his friends are doing it, or get good grades because his friends consider good grades the mark of a good person. The challenge is to teach teens to become a force for good among their friends.

This is, of course, easier for outgoing teens who are natural leaders. These teens have a special responsibility to set a good example for their friends. Help them to understand that often teens will do things they don’t want to do simply because everyone else is. If even one person speaks out, other teens might find the courage to make the right choice. This can be challenging for teenagers, who seem to have a natural need to follow the crowd, but it is a responsibility.

Teens who are not natural leaders still have an obligation to protect themselves from bad choices. In doing so, they may find themselves serving as leaders to the quiet few who have no other leader. However, even if no one else follows their lead, they must still make the best choices for themselves.

Teens do not have to make a scene or preach a sermon. When offered a cigarette, they can simply say, “No, thank you.” When teens decide to drink, they can say they’d rather not, so they are going home. When a teacher shows a movie in class that they know they shouldn’t see, they can raise their hands and politely say, “Watching this movie would violate my beliefs. May I please be excused to the library or the office during this class period?”

It is essential to help teens figure out what to say when presented with a challenging situation. If you are holding Family Nights, role-playing should be an important part of each lesson. Teens should rehearse their lines until they come naturally. Remember that their low-key answer may get challenged by others. When I refused a cigarette in high school, my so-called friends began making fun of me. I was shook up, but another girl, not a natural leader, said, “Leave her alone. It’s her choice.” The others were so startled that they stopped, but I knew I was going to have to better prepare myself for these times. There would not always be someone around to protect me, to present

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