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Praise vs. Correction

© Terrie Lynn Bittner

In the 1970s and 1980s, feel-good techniques were popular in the workplace, the schools and the homes. It was believed that children and adults responded best to praise, and were solely motivated by attention, either good or bad. It was felt that people should be “given” good self-esteem. Self-esteem was taught in schools, and children began to be rewarded for everything they did, no matter how minor it was. Employees were rewarded for behaviors that were once expected, such as showing up and actually doing their jobs. Everyone was entitled to feel good at any cost.

This sounded good in theory, but did not work out in practice. Yes, people do respond to praise, and do need regular doses of it. However, children who are praised for everything suffer in several ways. First, they grow up expecting pure and unearned praise for every single thing they do. They begin to believe they are wonderful, not because of who they are, but simply because they exist. They are unmotivated to work hard. Why should they when praise and reward comes so easily to people who don’t? Anything that is overdone loses its effectiveness. Finally, rather in improving self-esteem, this sort of treatment actually decreases it. They begin to believe that they must be praised for stupid things because they aren’t really any good at hard things. Expectations are clearly low. You don’t set low expectations for those who are capable.

I once had a high school teacher who gave me my first D in English. I was shocked. I had always gotten A’s for my writing. Every teacher praised my work, read it to the class, predicted a great writing career for me. Even when my work was shoddy, it was praised. This teacher did not seem to recognize my genius. I was furious. I’d show her. I went to work, working harder than I had ever before worked in an English class. I could diagram a sentence in my sleep. I could write a paper with a proper beginning, middle and end. I could follow every rule she threw at us. When the semester ended, I had a B. I had never in my life been so proud of a B. All the previous A’s had come so easily that I barely noticed them. This B, however, was the result of very hard work. It is the only grade I received in high school that I can still remember and feel proud to have received. It was earned.